What RSVP Actually Means
RSVP comes from the French "Repondez s'il vous plait" meaning "please respond." It is a request, not a suggestion. When you receive an invitation with an RSVP, you are expected to respond by the stated deadline, whether you are attending or not.
For Hosts: Setting Up RSVPs Right
- Set a realistic deadline (2-3 weeks before the event for casual events, 3-4 weeks for weddings)
- Make it as easy as possible to respond (digital RSVP links are ideal)
- Clearly state the RSVP deadline on the invitation
- Include what information you need (dietary requirements, plus-ones)
- Plan to follow up with non-responders a few days after the deadline
For Guests: Responding with Grace
- Respond within 48 hours of receiving the invitation if possible
- If unsure, respond by the deadline even if it means declining
- Never bring uninvited guests
- If you RSVP yes, show up. Cancelling last minute should be reserved for genuine emergencies
- If you cannot attend, a brief warm message is always appreciated
The Digital RSVP Era
Digital RSVPs have simplified the process enormously. A single tap on your phone replaces formal reply cards and stamps. This convenience also means there is no excuse for not responding promptly. If someone sends you a digital invitation, respond within a day or two.
Handling Non-Responders
After the deadline, send a friendly follow-up. Keep it light and assume good intent: "Hi! Just checking if you saw our invitation. We'd love to know if you can make it so we can plan accordingly." Most non-responses are due to forgetfulness, not rudeness.