When to Follow Up
Wait 3-5 days after your RSVP deadline before reaching out. This gives latecomers a grace period and shows you are not watching the clock. If you need a final headcount urgently, follow up the day after the deadline with a warm, understanding tone.
The First Follow-Up Message
Keep it friendly and assume they simply forgot. A text works best for casual events: "Hi [Name]! Just checking in — did you get the invitation for [Event] on [Date]? Would love to know if you can make it so I can finalise the plans. No pressure either way!"
The Second Follow-Up
If you do not hear back after a few more days, one more message is acceptable: "Hey! I need to confirm numbers for [Event] by [date]. If I don't hear from you, I'll assume you can't make it this time. Hope to see you there though!"
When to Stop Chasing
Two follow-ups is the maximum. After that, assume they cannot attend and plan accordingly. Continuing to chase makes both parties uncomfortable and can strain the relationship.
Preventing the Problem
- Use digital invitations with one-tap RSVP (removes friction)
- Set a clear deadline on the invitation
- Send a reminder a few days before the deadline
- Make the RSVP as easy as possible — the simpler the process, the more responses you get