Getting people to RSVP on time is basically an Olympic sport. The trick? Make it stupid easy AND give them a deadline they'll actually respect. Here's how to word it.
First: What Does RSVP Even Mean?
It's French—"Répondez s'il vous plaît"—which translates to "Please respond." Not "respond if you feel like it" or "respond eventually." PLEASE respond. Your caterer needs numbers, people!
The Must-Haves
Every RSVP should collect:
- Name(s) attending
- Yes or no (attending or not)
- Number of guests (if plus-ones allowed)
- Clear deadline
Optional but helpful:
- Meal choice
- Dietary restrictions
- Song requests (prepare for questionable choices)
Classic Wording
Traditional Formal
The favour of a reply is requested by June 15th
M_____________
☐ Accepts with pleasure
☐ Declines with regretNumber attending: _____
(The M is for their title—Mr., Ms., Dr., etc. Old school but some people love it.)
Modern Clear
Will you be joining us?
Name: _____________
☐ Wouldn't miss it!
☐ Sadly can't make itNumber of guests: ___
Please respond by August 1st
With Meal Options
Name: _____________
☐ Yes, I'll be there! ☐ Sorry, can't make it
Number attending: ___
Meal preference:
☐ Beef ☐ Salmon ☐ Vegetarian ☐ VeganAny allergies or dietary needs? _____________
Kindly respond by May 20th
Fun Versions (For Less Formal Weddings)
The Honest One
Can you make it?
☐ YES! I'll be there with bells on
☐ No, but I'll be thinking of you
☐ Still figuring out my life, will confirm by [date]Name: _______
Plus one: _______Please let us know by June 1st so we don't over-order chicken!
The Food-Focused One
Save me a seat... and some cake! 🍰
Name: _____________
☐ Count me in!
☐ Can't make it (but send cake pics)Dietary needs: _____________
Song that'll get me dancing: _____________
For Online/Digital RSVPs
Keep it simple—they're clicking a button, not writing an essay:
Will you join us?
Tap below to let us know!
[RSVP NOW]
Please respond by July 15th
The digital form collects everything else—names, meal choices, dietary stuff. Easy for guests, easy for you.
Setting the Deadline (Crucial!)
- Set it 3-4 weeks before the wedding
- This gives you time to chase the non-responders (there will be non-responders)
- And finalise numbers with your caterer/venue
Be specific: "Please respond by March 15th" not "Please respond soon."
Following Up on Stragglers
Some people won't respond. It's not personal (usually). Here's how to chase them gracefully:
One Week After Deadline
Hey Sarah! 👋 We're sorting out final numbers for the wedding and want to make sure we've saved you a spot. Can you let us know if you'll be there? Thanks! 💕
If They Still Haven't Responded
Hi Sarah, quick one—we need to submit our final headcount to the venue by Friday. Are you able to make it on the 22nd? Either way is totally fine, we just need to know! Thanks xx
With digital RSVPs, you can often send automated reminders. Let the technology do the awkward chasing for you.
The Digital Advantage
Honestly? Digital RSVPs have solved most RSVP headaches:
- Guests respond with one tap (no finding a stamp)
- You see responses in real-time
- Automatic reminders to non-responders
- All meal preferences collected in one place
- No deciphering handwriting
- Easy to export for your caterer
Ben and Chloe said their digital RSVPs were "the one thing that didn't stress us out" during wedding planning. That's saying something.
Create Your Invitation with Built-In RSVPs
Invyt handles all of this for you. Beautiful invitation, automatic RSVP tracking, meal collection, the works. Select from our elegant designs or create your own custom look.